Finding the White Knight

I don’t know about you, but as a little girl I wanted to be part of a fairy tale in the worst way.  Although my childhood was loving, it wasn’t always easy to feel safe.  I used to be enchanted with stories of the white knight that came in on a white horse and saved the girl and took her away to live happily ever after.  Many girls are lucky..  It is their father that fills that role to some degree until the romantic prince finds his way into a girl’s heart.

After 42 years of my life and multiple failed attempts at finding my prince, including 2 marriages, I was blessed to find the man that not only is my romantic prince, but the white knight for my daughter as well.  In less than a year this man has learned how we both need to be loved, kept almost every promise he has made and made us feel safe, warm and secure in a world swirling with change. On our wedding day, he spoke to my friends and family, promising to take care of us like no one has before.  It is a promise that he has never taken lightly and has never broken.  He is nothing short than amazing and I feel so honored to be his bride.
This man understands that every girl needs to feel protected and safe.  That that sense of being protected gives us the space to feel free to make mistakes, learn from them and keep trying.  He knows that unconditional love that gives us wings.  And he knows that actions speak the truth much louder than words ever could. He has given us both the confidence in love neither of us had before.

Recently, with this newfound confidence and maturity, my daughter decided that she wanted to stay home and be with her friends rather than take a trip to see her father, as many of those trips turn out to be not so pleasant.  At 17, it is a reasonable and understandable choice.  Her father is not a bad guy, just a very self-absorbed one who takes his feelings, convenience and his money over any and everything, including his own daughter.  He has never taken the time to find out who she really is and just what an amazing young woman she has become.   She was honest about her feelings for the first time and told him she wanted to stay home.  His reaction was not one she hoped for after promises of attempting to take her feelings more into consideration.  Granted, he was surprised and disappointed in her choice, but his reaction was harsh and hurtful.

 To add insult to injury, his girlfriend took it upon herself to write a very insulting and manipulative email.  It was obvious her goal was to make my daughter feel guilty enough to change her mind. No child, at any age, should have to endure that or have to read the harsh words laying blame from anyone, let alone someone who claims to be part of her family.

The text below is an small excerpt of my husband’s reaction.  In one email, he did everything he promised to do.  He protected my daughter in the way a father should.  He protected his wife the way a husband should. He acted not just spouted words.  I am choosing to share it for a multitude of reasons but the most prevalent to me is that girls of all ages need to know that men like this do exist.  That there are those who will protect us and love us without any agenda.  There are those who will protect princesses from the dragons. I finally found the White Knight.

I hope those of you still looking for those Knight’s on White Horses find their way to them soon.

I’ve had my say.  Take it for whatever it may be worth to you, but know this:  I am in her life now and will be for as long as she wants me there.  I love her with all my heart and soul and will do whatever I can to be the kind of man that she can count on and trust and know in the deepest part of her heart that I will never leave her.  She is not my biological daughter, but that does not prohibit me from filling the role of a father.  A role she is desperate to have filled in her life.  That is what I am doing, and she’s thriving here partly because of it.  Don’t let her father blame me for filling this role.  He left it 95% vacant.  If he wants to be her “dad”, instead of just her father, he has a lot of soul-searching to do and has to make a lot of changes to win her love and respect.  I’ve already told you the secret to how to do that – it’s not hard.