In the Company of Women

Growing up and in my early adult years I always believed that the value of girlfriends was overrated. I did not have many girlfriends growing up and the few I did have always seemed to be the type that were competitive, mean, catty and I spent way too much time healing from the betrayal. The result was preferring the company of the male species.

As a kid in my neighborhood, the streets were filled with boys that always accepted me. Their simple way of dealing with issues intrigued me immensely.
-Have a disagreement
-Beat the heck out of each other
-Go grab a soda from the store.
Girls were so different. We held grudges, gossiped about each other, said things that meant to hurt. Badly. The battles could go on for weeks, months and in some cases, years.

Through my teens I was much more careful in choosing friends. I did not have many and most were male. I was guarded and didn't always open up, but there are still girlfriends from high school and beyond that I happily stay in touch with. Connecting with them from time to time is like going home, but there is no regular contact.

It wasn't until recently that I really began to understand the true value of having girlfriends. Slowly, a small group of women captured my heart and I relaxed enough to let them in. Let them know me and got to know them in return. The connection I feel from these ladies is one I never expected, but have come to enjoy more than I ever thought possible. The support, help, friendship and love is still difficult to accept whole-heartedly at times, because of my own fears and insecurities, but these relationships are not at all demanding and there is a mutual respect of each other's hearts, circumstances and life. It is special to spend time with them one on one, but to be able to just relax and spend time as a group is a very rare treat. One, I got the opportunity to enjoy this evening.


I experienced a large letdown today that left me hurting and feeling like a fool. I thought about avoiding the evening and just going home and shutting down for a bit, but as I drove, I thought about being in the company of those women, and made the decision to attend the gathering. Halfway through the evening, I looked around the room at these women who I had spent the last few hours laughing with, teasing, crying with and even getting angry with, and the moment came.

There are few times when we as people feel truly accepted for who we are. Or, at least accepted for the parts we are willing to show others. Sitting around that table and looking at these women I happily call my closest friends, I felt accepted. My presence was desired there. Not for anything I could give them, but simply because I'm me, and as the conversations flowed for the remainder of the evening I was grateful for the blessing of each one of them in my life.

Yes, there are still times where I prefer the ease and simplicity of my male friends, but the value of my girlfriends is nothing less than precious.